every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
