JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
MIDGETS
????
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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