Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
