just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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