I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
