Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
