Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
