So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
