Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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