oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
