You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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