Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
