Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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