so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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