I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
