Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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