Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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