Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
