We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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