like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
