you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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