drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think your dad took our porno
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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