We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
