Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dick very happy bro
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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