Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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