K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
