Betty ford says i'm here all night
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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