I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Buhtt sex?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
