can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
