I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
