So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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