Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
