I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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