Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
