so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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