I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
