thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
