At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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