I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
