theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
