I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
