so that wasnt chicken after all
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
