i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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