best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
