dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Boobs are out for the taking
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
