That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
