I think my vagina is haunted
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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