So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
