The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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