so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want nice things and good sex
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
